Humility is Overrated

It's time to do away with humility - both faux and not faux.

Have you looked up the definition of humble in the dictionary? Go ahead, I invite you to do so. It is the most pussy drying definition I've ever read.

Back to matters at hand....

I had a client who in our very first session, said the word humble or humility at least three times.

“I just want to be humble about it you know”

“I know I’m really good about it but I don’t like talking to others about it, I don’t want them to think I’m not humble”

“The piece was fantastic, but the artist had like zero humility about it”

Fuck humility. Listen if that piece was fantastic, the artist is ALLOWED to know, own, and celebrate that. Why are we so resistant to owning our success? Why are we so obsessed with modesty? Faux and not?

Scroll up and read those definitions again. Do any of them make you feel empowered? Do any of them turn you on?

They quite literally dry me up. Why in the hell would I want to have a low view of my own importance? Excusez moi...if there is anyone in this world I better have a high view of, it’s my one damn self (and if I don't, because I don’t like myself, then I better work on changing that).

I get it. We’ve been taught in this world - especially women, that it is uncouth to celebrate ourselves. That it is arrogant or cocky. That it makes one a show off. But what is so wrong about owning our wins and crediting ourselves?

My favorite mediation teacher in an interview once said that she doesn’t even like to use the phrase “it was channeled through me” and by God if there is anyone who is fully connected to the divine, it’s her. But she argued that it removes your role in the magic, it diminished you to a simple thing rather than an active participant. And I fully agree.

You get to own the things you are amazing at, the things you have accomplished, the person you are. It is OK to celebrate yourself - you deserve to be celebrated.

Energetically, humility makes us small. It closes us up. I say the word and immediately want to raise my shoulders, hang my head, and make myself small. What kihd of an energetic signature does that send out? It tells the universe “no”, “I don’t deserve this”, “this is too much for me”. And the universe boos, speaks the language of energy. Bitch is like “iight then, imma bring you less, imma bring you an amount you are comfortable with since you don’t think you deserve this”. And then you complain that your life sucks and you don’t get all the things other people do and that energy of complaint and disempowerment shrinks you up even more, it closes you off to even more magic from the universe. And so on and so forth.

Over time, we came to discover that my client’s need to be seen as humble, came from a deep belief in needing to raise others up with her. Why? Because she was already getting too much, too smart, too good, too talented. And so she was rejecting those parts of herself to make herself more palatable for other people. But really what that does is also encourage others to shrink up. And that my friends is not what we want.

We want everyone to glow. We want everyone to light up the damn sky.